Monday, November 16, 2009

Outraged Alamedan Donald Kirkland Asks, Is This the Influence We Want in Our Schools?


I attended a youth soccer game this Saturday, and one of the dads in the crowd stood up and started yelling at the coach. The coach tried to ignore him, but the guy ran out onto the field and grabbed the coach by the shoulders and started shaking him until his arms literally fell off.

I was later outraged to find out that the guy who assaulted the coach lives right here in Alameda, and his son attends a neighborhood elementary school in the desirable East End. Now, this isn't the first time that a parent has assaulted a coach of a youth sports team, but this single incident is absolute proof of a disturbing new trend in these vicious attacks.

This begs the question…"Is this the influence we want in our schools when AUSD allows in-district students?"

Your fine publication has already run an outstanding article by Dave Williamson that highlights the desperate need to free up spaces in East End schools for children from Cities That Are Not Alameda. The problem is, I don't think his modest proposal goes far enough. The incident I witnessed proves that kids from Alameda are a bad influence in our schools. Their parents are out of control, assaulting coaches left and right, and probably parking in front of our houses as well.

AUSD needs to solve this problem once and for all by mandating that all children who live in Alameda attend school in Cities That Are Not Alameda. That way, their bad influence won't bother anybody, because everybody knows that people in Cities That Are Not Alameda don't love their children the way we do here. Once we have cleared out all those bad seeds from Alameda, there will be plenty of room for kids from Cities That Are Not Alameda in our East End schools, and our youth sports coaches will once again feel safe enough to walk their dogs at night without fear of being attacked by unhinged Alameda parents.

Now, some people may ask, "What if there are good kids from Alameda who would also be hurt by this policy?" Well, when confronted with such irrefutable anecdotal evidence, AUSD has to act, no matter what the consequences are. It's like the old saying goes, if you really want to be sure you get rid of the bathwater, you're going to lose a few babies now and then.

Donald Kirkland

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