The Alameda Daily Noose and I have heard that the San Francisco Bay Bridge was recently closed once again. No-one in Alameda seems to have even noticed the difference, which just proves, as we've said before, that the bridge is completely useless.
By reading this soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper, you have become one of over 48,910 visitors* to Alameda Daily Noose and you have become one of the best informed Alamedans on issues that don't really matter, as we regularly publish Alameda press releases before they appear in the Journal, the Times-Star and the Sun. We also publish Alameda noose they never print.
This total counts each press of the "refresh" button, not to mention each hit by a search engine robot, as a "visitor." Please don't ask how many different living, breathing humans actually read this site on a regular basis, because the number would not be nearly as nooseworthy!
Grumpy letters to the editor, effusive praise or hot tips on noose, scoops, investigative reports and occasions calling for the presence of the town's premier journalist should be "gee-mailed" to: firstname.lastname@example.org