I was trying to buy some of my favorite cookies the other day at that big Safeway store that I can't stand to shop at, and I noticed something alarming. First of all, they didn't have the brand of shortbread that I wanted, and second, there was some weird, foreign-looking shortbread where it should have been. When I looked more closely, I saw that there was a picture of a bagpipe on the box. I took a picture of it, because I knew you would be able to tell us all what to make of it. Is Scotland trying to monopolize the supply of shortbread cookies? It seems like tartan and bagpipes have already infiltrated so many of the things that we hold dear in Alameda, but isn't this going too far? What am I going to put on the cookie plate for my Thanksgiving guests? I want my good, honest, Alamedan shortbread back!