Green Living with Janet Marchant: Highlights of the Green Festival

I'm just now recovering from last weekend's Green Festival in San Francisco and I have so much to say! This is going to be an extra-long column, I'm sure!

First of all, I arrived Friday at noon. I'm glad I took the new Hybrid Hummer—not only because I need a sturdy vehicle to survive the dangerous roads out of Alameda, because they had both a special discounted admission rate and parking lot for the hybrids. The larger the hybrid, the larger the discount, so I ended up getting in for free! It looks like the whole car-pushing parking lot idea has caught on, since I did have to push my car to an available stall once I entered the lot, so I knew I was being green from the moment I arrived!
There were speeches throughout the weekend by dignitaries in the Green movement. I caught a few of the highlights: Mike Ruppert gave his trademark: "Green Oil: We're just getting started!" opening speech, which brought down the house needless to say. Amy Goodman, radio host of "Remember Democracy?" wowed the crowd with her stunning new Versace leafy-green gown. I caught most of the speech by Al Gore's assistant's college roommate's ex-girlfriend, whose name I didn't get, called "Human recycling in your community," where she proposed an interesting idea of using the deceased as a new source of energy.

But I spent most of my weekend on the exhibitor's floor. It was so overwhelming! As you know, I love shopping, and while I prefer Wal-Mart for my green shopping, I found some great businesses that I would have never discovered if it hadn't been for the Green Festival.

Editor's Comments:

The Alameda Daily Noose and I don't normally pay too much attention to these hippy-dippy environmentalist columns; we're far too busy enjoying our Fridays off…doing serious investigative reporting, of course. However, we could not help but notice Miss Market's inclusion of an inflammatory image of a Squirrel fitted out in full combat gear, squinting menacingly at our helpless readers. We hadn't given much thought to what goes on at these patchouli-soaked "green" gatherings, but after seeing this photo, we think we had better look into it as soon as we get back from researching our upcoming shocking exposé of a rumored glazed doughnut shortage at a local bakery.