Thursday, April 2, 2009

Finally, a Snack We Can All Enjoy

Mr. Grumbel,

There are many reasons to feel warmly toward our English neighbors to the East. They keep the Tartans in line. They have those adorable accents I can't understand when watching AMERICAN IDOL. They always seem to be getting into scrapes involving detachable undergarments and lines of people chasing them to wacky saxophone music. Now here's another: Squirrel-flavored potato chips.

As this article explains, a British company has released upon the world Squirrel-flavored "crisps" (whatever! ;) ), finally priming people's taste buds for the real thing. All the extra "u"s in the world can't hide the heroism! Once people have a taste for Squirrels in a conveniently snackable form, they'll run to their yards and pull them from the trees, having a nibble on the way back to the front door. Heidi Wilson herself would be proud! (Maybe she can get an endorsement deal...)

The only down side is that there were apparently no Squirrels harmed in the development of the chips, but I'm sure they can put that right during the manufacturing process. One small step for crispiness, one giant leap for mankind!

Jehoshaphat Malone
Founder, Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Café

Editor's Comments:

The Alameda Daily Noose and I don't quite understand Mr. Malone's obsession with semicolons, parentheses, and the 21st letter of the alphabet, but when it comes to the Sciurine Menace, his opinions are spot-on. We can only hope Mr. Malone will be inspired to put some Squirrel-flavored items on the menu at his popular café soon, only without that tongue-burning "spice" for which British cuisine is renowned. We're sorry, but that's just not Alameda.

No comments: