Outraged Alamedan Donald Kirkland Says What Really Scares Him Is the "Hammer-Heads" Sitting on Alameda's City Council
I was talking to ancient mariner and living Alameda legend Cap'n Everett the other day, and he told me a fish story you wouldn't believe. Apparently, City Hall has been taken over by hammer-heads, by which I can only assume he means the dreaded hammer-head species of land shark. I am absolutely flabbergasted!
What really scares me is the hammer-heads sitting on the City Council.
These ferocious fish can weigh up to 1,000 pounds, which means they could pin the Council down for hours at a time, rendering them completely incapable of making a decision. This is an OUTRAGE. We Right-Thinking Alamedans can only hope that the spineless Council Majority will not buckle under the pressure of Big Shark, which has been plotting for years to flood Alameda and turn it into a giant marine sanctuary!