Right-Thinking Alamedan Saves the Day

Yesterday, at precisely 3:24 PM, thanks to the tireless efforts of Right-Thinking Alamedan Lon Geddoff, absolutely nothing happened. Nobody was bamboozled by an Evil Developer's dog-and-pony show, no Squirrels infiltrated yet another City board or commission, no Bagpipes blared within earshot of innocent children, no fancy-schmancy new businesses opened up to create endless traffic by drawing hordes of mindless yuppies to buy their fashionable flub-dubs, and nobody—and the Alameda Daily Noose and I mean nobody—parked in front of Mr. Geddoff's house.

The Alameda Daily Noose and I salute Mr. Geddoff for his bravery in the face of change, and his skill at stopping it through the Power of Grump. In times when we fear that some young people may be in danger of forgetting how to complain, we can only hope that all other Right-Thinking Alamedans will follow Mr. Geddoff's shining example, ensuring many more righteously slow noose days to come.