Holidays Are for Grumping

Listen up, all of you grumpy-letter-writers out there. Don't think that the Alameda Daily Noose and I haven't noticed your recent lack of complaining. Just because it's the holiday season doesn't mean you can relax your vigilance against threats to the Alamedan way of life.

The Alameda Daily Noose and I have big holiday plans, too, but you don't see us neglecting our journalistic duty, despite the rising cost of coal for heating our headquarters, and the alarming shortage of orphans for our labor force. It would serve you all right if we were to stop reporting until those letters start flooding in again.

We suppose you were expecting some sort of bonus Noose items to help you counteract the often grump-free atmosphere around this time of year. Bah! What do you think we are, some kind of charity?