Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Mission of Bay Developer's Zombie Robot Minions: Destroy Alameda


I was trying to find the Alameda Daily Noose today by typing some of your common subjects into The Googles, like "redevelopment", "parking", "trees," "economic meltdown," and some other things that I forget. Unfortunately, what turned up instead of your familiar black-and-yellow pages was a frightening account of a development that will not die!

Like many Right-Thinking Alamedans, I have been counting on the recent economic slowdown to prevent our city from growing out of control. Imagine my horror when I read such warnings as: "The residential buildings north of Mission Creek along King Street seemed to spring up overnight," and "There's such a diversity of land uses built into Mission Bay that there's a flexibility. Things keep moving," says Kelley Kahn, the San Francisco Redevelopment Agency's project manager. "Housing may be dormant, but biotech comes alive."

Is biotech what we have to fear next? I don't know what that is, but it sounds like it has to do with undead robot monsters. "Things keep moving...." We tried to stall those wily developers who wanted to ram a new library and movie theater down our throats, but they would not be stopped. This "Mission Bay" development they're talking about is right across the bay from Alameda. What if the monster robots randomly march in our direction, discover how wonderful Alameda is, and set their sights on destroying it?

My only consolation is that Alameda is an island, which makes it completely different from any other city. Surely, the economy-defying monster developments afflicting other cities have nothing to do with what is possible here.

Fearfully Yours,

Brenda Snook

No comments: