Tuesday, April 17, 2007

There's a New Stooge in Town

There’s a new Stooge in town. Alameda’s most-watched “cable access current thoughts and events and old grainy videos” program announced this week that the City Council has decided to replace current Stooge, local businessman Jeremy Smiley, with a young new upstart, Rebecca Ovarbight.

The appointment comes as a complete surprise to Smiley. Most local pundits had thought that he had solidified his grasp on the Stooge position after his success in shepherding the Alameda Theater project through rocky political waters and building a city-run all-you-can-eat salami bar on Webster.

Smiley was unavailable for comment, but sources close to him say that he is very upset and concerned that he'll be seen as a lame-duck Stooge. At a recent council meeting, outraged Alamedan Donald Kirkland demanded that the position of Stooge be put to a vote of the people. “It’s not right that the single most important and secretive position in this city should be decided by citizens, not these carpetbaggers on the council,” he said.

Ovarbight will be confirmed in the coming week at a secret ceremony held in the basement of City Hall West.

2 comments:

Lon Geddoff said...

Attaboy, Donald, you tell 'em! The position of Stooge should only be filled by a vote of the people!

In fact, come to think of it, I'm concerned -- no, make that OUTRAGED -- that all of that power is concentrated in a single office, even if the Stooge is elected. We should demand that the citizens elect, say, two additional Stooges so that their duties can be shared, much as it was in the triumvirates of ancient Rome. I am sure that one of the first actions of this august new governing body will be to stick the finger of righteousness in the metaphorical eye of those scalawags on the Council!

Lon

NoFactsDave said...

Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, I'm afraid the Stooge will always be an appointed postition. We know the Council doesn't want public input, especially when it comes to an important position such as Stooge. Especially when they have two of the great Stooges already under their thumb.

Between that guy on the Transporation Commission and that other guy from Park Street there is more than enough stoogeness to go around.

I think our only hope to to create a shadow Stooge. Someone who we can call on to lick the boots of the Council and the City of Alameda. Our only problem is we have so many qualified stooge candidates we probably won't be able to choose just one. I know, we can pick three and they'll be know far and wide as the 3 Stooges. I like it, its got a catchy ring. Oh darn, just thought of another problem. All of our Stooges will want to be Moe. No one will want to be Larry or Curley (forget Shemp). Another good idea down the drain. It must be the Council's fault.

NoFactsDave