Monday, April 30, 2007

Pay no attention to the traffic snarl at the Bay Bridge

We here at ADN take great pride in not bothering our readers with information that actually affects their lives. Today will be no different. Unlike other news outlets, who create concern and dismay over possible traffic problems on I80 after Saturday's giant fire, we insulate you from these concerns with coverage of potential conflicts of interest and historical non-sense.

Think about it. you'll know about the traffic jams as soon as you are stuck in them (especially since with our help, you won't have given any thought to using Alameda's convenient Ferry System or directly Express Bus service to downtown SF). There's no need to worry ahead of time, we believe in living in the moment.

And before you can thank us, we say "you're welcome."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why do we need to know what's happening off the island? All good Alamedans stay on the island 24/7/365.

Why would you want to leave? We have everything anyone needs right here on the island. When I want to see a first run movie I just go down to. . . Who wants to see first run movies anyway? When I want to buy a new HD widescreen TV I just go down to . . . Who needs fancy HD widescreen TVs? When I want to see a live performance of the ballet or the symphony I just go down to . . . Who needs that culture stuff?

If you can't get it in Alameda it's just not worth getting.