Monday, January 4, 2010

Reader Loves Us, Hates It When People Say "Happy New Year" and "Happy Holidays"


I was glad to see the first noose item of the new year be "Grumpy New Year!" Let me tell you, I am so tired of people saying things like "Happy Holidays" and "Happy New Year" constantly over the last month. I'm afraid to go outside today, especially, for fear that the number of cheerful greetings will cause me to lose balance and topple over and throw out my hip again.

I would like to propose that all right-thinking Alamedans adopt a new expression as a retort to this annoying cheerfulness. It's not a word that many people know, but I ran across it in some old Great War correspondence I had found in my attic. The word is "Humbug." It's a simple retort, but even if the recipient of this verbal hand-grenade has never heard it before, the mere sound of it gets the meaning across, I do believe!

My hope is that if enough of us start using this word, it will come back into fashion, and more and more come to know its meaning. Over the long run, I hope I am not overoptimistic in predicting that enough of these "cheerful" people hear it, they too will become grumpy, and from there, perhaps even turn their ways into being a true right-thinking Alamedan. Naturally, the additional result will be the hearty defeat of Measure Bagpipe.

Let's do what we can to turn these cheerful do-gooders into proper grumps. Ladies and Gentlemen, Humbug!

Vincent FitzSimmons

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