Monday, January 18, 2010

In Stunning Flip-Flop, Mayor Urges Alamedans Not to Shop Alameda

Last year, Alameda's now-good Evil Robot Mayor, Beverly Johnson, produced a film urging Alamedans to "shop Alameda." The star-studded, red-carpet gala premiere was met with critical acclaim and runaway box office success, and since then the movie has been showing endlessly—or at least it seems endless to the Alameda Daily Noose and me—at the Super-Mega-Monster-Plex That Everyone Hates.

The Alameda Daily Noose and I have just learned that Johnson has produced a sequel which, in a dramatic reversal of the position she espoused in her first film, now warns Alamedans not to "shop Alameda." We obtained a bootleg print and, with some technical assistance from our ten-year-old grand-nephew, posted it here on the Interweb in order to give our Right-Thinking readers an exclusive sneak preview:

Asked about her stunning flip-flop, Johnson replied, "Well, Rog, these stunning flip-flops get a little easier each time. Remember when I called everyone in Alameda and asked them to support the Evil Developer's plans for the old Navy base, and then I realized that perhaps I had been too hasty, and so I sent them all a letter asking them to vote against moving forward with the plan? Well, that got me thinking: Had I rushed headlong into this whole 'shop Alameda' thing, too? So, after careful consultation with the interim city manager about the numerous risks and potential downsides of shopping locally, I decided to make this new movie to set the record straight."

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