What's Really Going On Here??? Reader Demands to Know

Dear Mr. Grumbel,

Today, I received a flyer in the mail urging me to vote No on Measure B. Naturally, like all right thinking Alamedans, I was planning not only to vote no but to picket the houses of anyone who dares to display a pro-Measure B yard sign. However, I noticed something very sinister in the upper left hand corner of the mailer:

No on B is headquartered in The City that is Not Alameda!! I don't know about you, but I find that extremely ominous. How am I supposed to believe that voting No on Measure B will protect our treasured isle when apparently, the anti-B forces are coming from across the estuary? For all we know, this is the first step in a "Trojan Horse"-type of master plan that will lead to that other city sending all of its bagpipers to Alameda. I urge you to look into this shocking development to find out who is REALLY behind Measure B.

Imelda Jackson-Perge

Editor's Comments:

This Right-Thinking Alamedan's missive has hit the Alameda Daily Noose and me like a bombshell. We know that Measure B, as in Bagpipes, is Bad, yet we know that people who live in Cities That Are Not Even Alameda have no right to an opinion on anything, much less on the internal affairs of our Treasured Isle. Do we conclude that people who live in Cities That Are Not Even Alameda are not Bad, because they oppose Measure B? Or do we conclude that Measure B is not Bad after all, because it is opposed by people who live in Cities That Are Not Even Alameda? Clearly there is no middle ground; it must be one or the other. But which? Which?!