I try to monitor my children's Interweb usage, since there is so much obscene material out there for all to see. In my day, anyone who wanted to look at dirty pictures had to dig through their father's underwear drawer to find a dog-eared copy of Playboy; today, smut is just a click away!
Well, I grew suspicious when my teenage son Frankie abruptly closed one of those "window" doohickeys on the computer screen when I walked into the room. Luckily, I have learned a thing or two about the Interwebs from my years of participation in Barry Manilow fan forums, so I was able to look up the computer's "cookies" to find the "browser history." I gasped in horror when I saw what he had been watching:
From the mesmerizing movements of the Squirrels to the sound of Michael Jackson, an artist obviously chosen for his appeal to children, this is nothing less than propaganda, aiming to hypnotize America's youth into supporting the Squirrel takeover of our nation!
The final proof arrives in the video's last seconds, when we are assured that "no Squirrels were harmed in the making of this film."
Squirrels may not have been harmed; I wish I could say the same for the minds of our children!
I have warned Frankie that from now on, the only Squirrel-related videos he is allowed to watch are those starring Heidi Wilson.
Monday, November 24, 2008