I'm tired of this town going in the wrong direction because our do-nothing mayor is busy steering it that way. The solution is simple: we need to do the exact opposite of everything that she does, or wants us to do.
Starting immediately, when the mayor drives to work in the morning, we all need to simultaneously drive home. If she cuts the ribbon on a new business, it will be every citizen's duty to boycott that business. Any proclamations she makes in favor of rainbows and puppies should be soundly denounced as a conspiracy hatched by Big Prism and Big Bow-Wow. And if Arnold Schwarzenegger tries to raise out taxes or cut any of our services, we'll know that it's all the mayor's fault!
Do you realize that her favorite color is blue, which is the same color as police uniforms? It should be clear that Right-Thinking Alamedans must oppose the mayor at every turn, in order to preserve our exceptionally high quality of life.