Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Dave Williamson to Squirrel-huggers: "The blood of a child? Is that what it will take?"


Your readers should not be fooled by Elaine Hollandaise's D.A.R.L.I.N.G. arguments. She makes a disingenuous plea for rational discussion, "Oh, no, we just want to talk about Squirrels," when, in reality, she and her ilk are plotting to pack Alameda with dense forests of high-rise trees absolutely stuffed to the gills with Squirrels.

These D.A.R.L.I.N.G. agitators, none of whom actually live in Alameda, are just trying to take advantage of the fact that a tiny minority of Alamedans has gone soft on Squirrels. "Oh, but they're so cute," they say, "They're not hurting anyone; can't we all just get along?"

Well, I suggest those Squirrel-huggers try telling that to the parents of the innocent child who was so viciously attacked during a brazen assault on a San Jose elementary school, carried out in broad daylight less than two weeks ago. As the San Francisco Chronicle reported, the hideous creatures have acquired a taste for human blood:

An 11-year-old student and two parents at Evergreen Elementary School got a scare this morning when a squirrel ran into the building and attacked them, drawing blood in two cases, school officials said. . . .

San Jose Police spokesman Sgt. Nick Muyo said police received a call around 8:45 a.m. alerting them to the attack. The student and one of the parents were bitten hard enough to draw blood, he said.
Bitten hard enough to draw blood. Hard enough to draw blood. So, Squirrel-lovers, is that what you want? The blood of a child? Is that what it will take? The blood of child, a red badge of shame smeared all over your Squirrel-petting hands: Is that what it is going to take for you to see the error of your ways?

Dave Williamson

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It pains me to see the anger on both sides of the pro and con arguments regarding squirrels. It is dividing our community.

Clearly though the anti-anti squirrel (I'm not going to call them pro-squirrel because that is positive) are clearly jerks and someone needs to look into who is backing them. I heard that one of them was going to print up another bumper sticker and I want to know who is funding that bumper sticker.

So please, lets stop the anger and get down to action - raise the drawbridges to keep these damn squirrels off our lawns! You kids get off my lawn as well!