Sacred Symbols Left Out on the Street to Rot

Dear Roger,

I am writing to complain about the sacrilegious behavior perpetuated on Alameda streets. Every year after the Christmas holiday, people discard their Christmas trees carelessly on the street. Please find enclosed some snapshots I took around by driving around on my block.

Clearly this is the result of wrong-thinking (or left-thinking) Alamedans. Any right-thinking Alamedan knows that the Christmas tree is a sacred symbol dating back to the days of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In the words of Jeremiah 10:1-5:

...for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

As this clearly states, a Christmas tree must be fastened, and it must not be moved after that. Any disposal of a Christmas tree, then, is sacrilege.

Like all Right-Thinking Alamedans, I have never disposed of, nor removed, any of the 23 Christmas trees I have purchased and attached to the floor in my house in all the years I have lived in my house. (I also treated the Christmas trees in my previous residence just as reverently; unfortunately they were lost when the house burned down in 1987.)

Perhaps somebody should take these trees back to the houses of the people who moved them and explain that they are not to be disposed of!

Humbugly,

Sylvia C. Richards