Former Council Candidate now accepts her inability to understand nuanced arguments

In an Noose-clusive, ADN has received confirmation that city council candidate Glib Bond now accepts her own inability to comprehend even simple, nuanced arguments.

Bond writes:

"It is with a heavy heart that I bring pen to paper in an attempt to apologize for wasting all of your time. Despite everything I've said in the past about my opponents, I now recognize that it is I who "just don't get it." Despite the hard work of my campaign volunteers, I seem completely unable to understand that we can discuss both the seven screens in the privately owned cineplex building on Central Ave and the total of eight screens that the entire project will have when combined with the historic Alameda Theater.

"Further discussions differentiating between parking structure "levels" and "stories" have thrown me for such a loop that I've lashed out at inappropriate times. And don't even get me started on the Target square footage."

The Noose is proud of it's investigative work on this story, and we're sure that the candidates in the Fall 2006 election are happy to have an understanding of the erratic comments and behavior of candidate Bond.