Journalistic Torch to Be Passed to Older, Grumpier Generation

It is with a profound mix of melancholy and impossibly high expectations that we at the Inaction Alameda Alameda Daily Noose by Inaction Alameda announce the latest development in the illustrious career of Dave Williamson, our chief editor. For many a long week, Dave has labored in the nooseroom to bring you inside information on our Right-Thinking community in the most technologically up-to-date way possible.

Many of you, of course, do not fully appreciate what an outstanding job he has been doing. But that is beside the point. Whether you realize it or not, you will soon be deprived of the advantages of his full-time editorship, as his ever-increasing responsibilities as Miss Grumpy Alameda's press agent make it impossible for him to continue as editor without sacrificing the renowned quality of his work for the Alameda Daily Noose. As of tomorrow, the role of regular editor will be resumed by former editor Roger Grumbel. Although Roger may be a poor substitute for Dave Williamson, we grudgingly admit that he is the best man for the job under the circumstances.