Cease-Fire in War of the One True Alamedas; Former Foes to Fight New Numeric Nemesis

Dear Rog:

I begrudgingly accept Mr. (or Ms.) Warard's offer of an olive branch between our two zip codes. Though I believe we will have to agree to disagree which is the superior zip code, I guess we must learn to get along in our fragile world. Mr. (or Ms.) Warard is welcome to bring his (or her) family to our several downtown shopping districts and do some shopping, eat at one of our fine restaurants, and even watch a movie at the beautiful, historic theatre that we all hate so much and yet can't stop giving free publicity to.

Really, we are all the same under our skin. Well, for the most part. What really is starting to bother me is people with these newfangled phone numbers. I still remember when you could tell that somebody lived in Alameda by their phone number - it always started with LA-1 or LA-2 or LA-3. Now people seem to have these other numbers, which don't make any sense. So I refuse to even think about calling somebody whose phone number begins with 747, 748, 846, 865, and so forth. Who are these people?

Sycophantically,
Jess Trumbell