Pizza King Beckons Right-Thinking Alamedans

Dear Roger:

As General Manager of Pizza King on Clement Avenue, I would like to extend a personal invitation to the readership of the Alameda Daily Noose to come try our newest culinary invention: Squirrel Meat topping on our island-famous, delicious pizzas!

These are sure to please right-thinking Alamedans with the most discerning palettes. Pick a pizza with this new topping by itself for an unadulterated slice of Italian Heaven, or get our Mega Combo Squirrel Pizza and you'll be delighted with how the taste of squirrel mixes with traditional pizza toppings such as olives, mushrooms, and bell peppers! We have a full selection of wines and beers — you haven't experienced a fine Napa Valley Chardonnay until you've had it with our deep-dish Squirrel Surprise!

And be sure to bring the kids — not only will they love the food, but they will find our new squirrel-shooting video arcade games absolutely irresistible!

We're pleased that we have finally found a good use for the squirrels that Alamedans have been working so hard to eradicate. In order to let the community "pitch in", we have a drive-through squirrel carcass bin on the right side of the building, available 24 hours. So if you are cleaning out your back yard or sweeping up the street in front of your house, we encourage you to swing on by and drop off the bodies in our bin. (To make sure our food is the freshest, please no more than a week old.) And if you bring them before 11 AM, you could be eating dinner that you yourself caught!

Kind Regards,

Nigel Crossbone
General Manager, Pizza King
1301 Clement Ave.
Alameda, CA 94501