Alameda Has the Prescription for Health Care Reform

When complex, seemingly intractable issues rear their ugly heads, citizens turn to Alameda for solutions. The issue du jour is health care, and people are finally beginning to realize what we Right-Thinking Alamedans have known all along: A complaint a day keeps the doctor away!

At town hall meetings in cities that are not Alameda, once-timid members of the audience are finally finding the courage to stand up and shout down their elected representatives with a patriotic barrage of complaints and accusations. If it weren't so obvious already, countless studies would undoubtedly show that vigorous complaining strengthens the finger-wagging muscles, burns countless calories, and provides untold cardiovascular benefits.

If every citizen did his patriotic duty by yelling at an elected official for just 20 minutes a day, three days a week, experts would surely agree that the resulting decrease in disease would save enough money to provide health care for all, and still have money left over for another good war or two!